okay pat passed out under dana's car
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
