It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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