Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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