so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Don't judge me ๐๐ผ his dick just whispers my name
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
itโs not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize