Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
