Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
