You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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