real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Is it because I queefed?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
