the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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