I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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