There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
