that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
