Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
