Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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