I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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