if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
