"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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