party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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