cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
