when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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