So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize