White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
