people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
