We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
