If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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