dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
