I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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