i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
