Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
