So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
