Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
