haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
