do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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