Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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