Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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