Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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