she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
