Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
