who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Still dying that you shit outside
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You are a genius and a whore.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
