Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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