Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
