Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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