so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
