oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
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