They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
