The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
