Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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