I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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