i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Randomize
