i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
