K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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