I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
