I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
