how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
