sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
