You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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