we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
