you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Randomize
