If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
