I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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