She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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