are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
