Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
