Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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