i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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