Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Randomize
