I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
